I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
