Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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