she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
