After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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