He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
