ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
