lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it hurts more in the daytime
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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