shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
