Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
