Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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