apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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