I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
