Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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