Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
