I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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