If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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