dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
