My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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