Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
