Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
