all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
