I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
