I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
