Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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