my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This house was built for laser tag.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
