Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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