from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think I sprained my soul last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
