Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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