Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
