Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
