I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
