I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
