thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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