Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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