u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
