I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
