my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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