you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
