Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
