Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
