the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
