That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
