yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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