If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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