Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you never un-have a 4some
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
