I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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