At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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