She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
