i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
