Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
