so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
