Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
